Bad Forebodings
by Titania2
Summary: Chapter 2 et 3 is now up!!!!! Not the it makes any difference becuse NO ONE HAS READ IT YET. IF you want to know what happens, READ IT!!!!!!! Thank you
1. The tape player from Hell

Bad Forebodings  
  
The necessary legal stuff. Pratchett and Gaimon own this stuff. Terry Gillam too when the film is made.  
  
Plot: 15 years after the almost-apocalypse, Hell has come up with a really nasty way to become rulers of heaven, and need to test it. Crowly is faced with a very difficult decision and Azriphale is placed in immortal danger…  
  
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Crowly sank back into the shiny leather of his Bentley, humming along to Queen greatest hits. Originally it had been a Mozart recording his best friend Azriphale had given him. But that was a month ago, and in accordance to universal law it had materialised into Freddie Murphy singing "We will rock you". The car was cruising through the Devon countryside, the standardised bushes of so many motorways flicking past as the car accelerated to a smooth 80 miles per hour. It was Crowly's first day off in ages. A day to escape from the hustle and bustle of being a demon and chill. The long lashed eyes beneath their black glasses grew heavier, and eventually they closed, letting the car drive it self.  
  
"Hmm hmm hmm, singin' we will, we will-"  
  
For the first time since in years, Crowly felt himself relax. The almost- apocalypse 15 years ago had led to a big rethink on Hells part, starting with making crawly pay for his glitch by working harder. Beelzebub had only allowed the change from tradition because he found that driving a demon crazy with stress was nastier. So Lucifer and Hastur and the rest were working on another evil plot that would make them lords of all three realms.  
  
But then, Crowly mused, everything would happen as God wanted it in the end. It was ineffable. Demons, Angels, Humans, we are all pawns in his hands. Pity the old man downstairs didn't see it like that.  
  
Azriphale had said something similar in his cute, if somewhat pompous angelic way "My dear, you don't fall. God just thinks about you differently. If you go far enough through hell, you will reach heaven and vice versa". The Angel had been saying stuff like that a lot lately. Crowly was starting to wonder if Azriphale had been reading up on Buddhism.  
  
Azriphale again. He couldn't stop thinking about him for some reason. They hated each other enough to be best friends, but sooner or later Crowly was going to have to admit that he liked that angel more then that. Just a little. Maybe he would admit it to himself to another century or so.  
  
"You are just a young man- listen up Crowly I have a message for you- you've got blood on… "  
  
Crowly screamed and nearly thought the car of the road. He shouted at the tape player as he willed the car onto the road. "I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT WHILE I AM DRIVING!!!"  
  
"We wi- sorry Crowly, but duty calls-"  
  
"Look at the scratches on the paint work!"  
  
" I said sorry- ck you"  
  
"This is going to take ages-"  
  
"CROWLY! SHUT UPP!!!!!!"  
  
Crowly scowled at the play button. It sneered back at him.  
  
"Are you listening to me? Crowly?"  
  
The demon sighed "yes, I'm here." He said  
  
"You need to bring an angel to Vegas for the test"  
  
Crowly was nonplussed. "What test?"  
  
"Didn't you read the memo?"  
  
Guiltily Crowly thought back to his stylishly clear desk, and his stylishly full paper basket.  
  
"Oh, er, yes. Probably…" he tried to think up an excuse "but, I have been, ah, so preoccupied with, er, the rock music thing and this, erm kid, er, argh, called, ah, yes, hang on, ah Monsoon, that's it. Marilyn Monsoon. Er Manson. And, if you want bloodthirsty, satanic teenagers, its gonna take time…"  
  
The tape player didn't look impressed.  
  
"And I lost it" he finished lamely.  
  
"Ahhhhh." said the voice. "So the great Crowly has made a mistake. Tut Tut Tut." The voice of Hastuer smirked. Somehow, Crowly didn't think Hastur would be that supportive. They hadn't spoken since Ligur was…. terminated. "I guess a little  
  
Reminder is needed….."  
  
"No, that's ok. I'm sure I can find it again," said Crowly hurriedly.  
  
"You had better." Sneered tape player. "Just remember, bring an angel to Vegas – ing your can all over the place. Singin…."  
  
Crowly switched of the player and concentrated. The note appeared in his hand. He read it.  
  
"Fuck!"  
  
  
  
Tell me if you like it and I'll add more. Please review because if you don't a demon somewhere will drop dead and get eaten by yaks…. 


	2. Frustration

Chapter 2- Azriphale wishes he could be worried.  
  
These people still aren't mine.  
  
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Azriphale was starting to get frustrated with life. As an angel he was limited to four emotions: unconditional love, unconditional happiness and unconditional calm. The fourth was unconditional frustration. He longed to get really angry and shout at something. Crowly for preference. He longed to hate somebody. Crowly again, although he wouldn't mind hating Metaron. He longed to feel more than the same dull love for someone. Crowly… hmmm.  
  
He wanted passion, excitement, embarrassment, jealousy, fear. Even pain, although not for too long. He wanted to scream and cry and laugh. In short, the Angel of the Eastern Gate wanted to be more human (while still having immortality and the other angelic luxuries).  
  
He knew Crowly had access to all the emotion humans had. He felt black. A colour when all other colours were mixed. The only things he couldn't feel were the ones Azriphale could[i], although recently the demon had opted for sheer exhaustion, hate for his in car tape player and a strange feeling Azriphale had never encountered before. The angel would find it worrying, but he couldn't.  
  
Crowly. More and more these days his thoughts turned to the pale, amber- eyed demon with his glasses and floppy black hair. Now there was a being worth more then his limited emotions…  
  
The angel turned his thoughts back to the task at hand. Heaven had discovered email, and had sent Azriphale a computer to replace the familiar circle of white candles. Now all the angel had to do was figure out how the thing worked.  
  
He bashed it again. Nothing happened. He had done everything he could think of, even tried throwing out the window. But to no avail. Well, desperate times called for desperate measures. He picked up the phone and dialled,  
  
Bring, bring bring, bring bri- "Hello?"  
  
"Good afternoon, Crowly my dear"  
  
"Zira? Ah, listen. We need to talk."  
  
"Indeed. Well I rang you for that reason."  
  
"The Ritz in half an hour"  
  
"Half an hour? My dear, you are in the middle of Dartmoor. It will take you four hours to bring the car up here." Azriphale knew Crowly could arrive now if he so wished, but it would mean leaving behind the Bentley. The demon would rather swallow holy water.  
  
The receiver was silent. Azriphale could sense that Crowly was coming to an important decision, and that the answer would make frustrated.  
  
"I am going to leave it here" OOOOooohhhhhhhh dear. This was bad. Very bad.  
  
"Crowly, what is wrong? You feel…tense. Afraid"  
  
"I can't say yet. Not now. I need to speak to your face."  
  
"Alright. Half an hour but at my shop instead."  
  
"Y-es. Yes that's good. Bye Zira." The demon hung up.  
  
  
  
If he could, Azriphale would have been very worried. Very worried indeed.  
  
  
  
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Please review or I'll set the Clangers on you.  
  
----------------------- [i] Apart from frustration. God had lumbered all its creations with this one. It found it incredibly funny. 


	3. Can Demons have nightmares? Yes

Chapter 3- Crowly has a nightmare  
  
You know the score by now.  
  
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Crowly parked his vintage car in the most desolate part of the moors he could find. Thoughts rushed trough his mind so fast he could hardly keep up with them. What was he going to do????  
  
He knew nothing would happen to his beloved vehicle, it wouldn't even get wet. But he loved the car more then he loved himself, and worried about it. He gave the dashboard one last loving kiss and said goodbye, screwing his eyes shut as he focused his mind.  
  
When he opened them again he was in Azriphale's cosy book lined shop. The angel was sat in a ragged, moth-eaten armchair, slippered feet resting on a matching stool. Early copies of the Beano were stacked at one side where the angel had been cataloguing them. Ever since Adam had replaced his stock, the angel had become more and more interested in children's books. A first addition signed copy of Winnie the Pooh was in the angel's lap.  
  
Azriphale stared at the demon in front of him. Crowly was a mess; his hair had been pulled out of style with worry, his nails chewed, shoulders shaking and his skin had grown so white you could almost see through him.  
  
"Anthony, you look like a ghost. You should sit down."  
  
He gestured to a chair that had appeared by a fire that had suddenly flared up in the grate. The demon collapsed into it. Azriphale noted the he hadn't even bothered to complain about the use of his first name. He placed a hot cup of tea laced with something a little stronger into Crowly's unprotesting hands. They shook so hard he removed the cup at left it on the mantle piece. The demon was letting of steam.  
  
Crowly found the angel's presence strangely comforting. He let him fuss for a bit, before forcing himself to concentrate. He didn't want to lose all his pride.  
  
"Tell me Zira, how many angels are stationed on earth?" he asked.  
  
The question seemed to take the angel by surprise.  
  
"Isn't it obvious? The same number as there are demons. We have to keep things in check."  
  
Crowly let the despair sink in. he was the only demon on earth. The angel sipped his tea; completely oblivious to the bloody danger he was in. Bloody adorable stupid angel…  
  
Azriphale wanted to worry quite a bit now. It didn't seem right to be so complacent. It made him frustrated. He could sense Crowlys feelings and didn't like them one bit. His friend was completely helpless, completely miserable. Crowly had always had some sense of surety around him. It was a cocky, egotistical surety but it was surety all the same. It should be unnerving to see him so lost thought the angel. Damned emotions.  
  
"I tell you what, my dear. You look too tired to talk. Why don't you stay here the night, hmm?"  
  
"Mmmpf" was the demons only reply. Bloody oblivious…  
  
The angel went on.  
  
" You can have my bed, and I'll sleep on the sofa if you want. You are welcome to stay as long as you need too. Sleep for a month it makes you feel better." He said generously "in fact, I may too. I am starting to get a little frustrated with work. Perhaps we could both do with a break, hmm?"  
  
Crowly snored.  
  
  
  
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Something woke Azriphale from his not-really-very-comfortable sofa. There was a cry from upstairs. He fumbled around for his slippers, then gave up and willed them on his feet. He padded softly upstairs. Another cry came from his bedroom, followed by a long string of sobs and mutters. Crowly was having a nightmare.  
  
The angel hovered in the doorway, not quite sure what to do. Feathers floated from the torn quilt, and settled around the demon. Crowly hissed, his eyes open but unseeing to all but his dream. Azriphale concentrated, slipping himself into Crowlys sub-consciousness.  
  
-eat. Taste it. Try it. Take the apple. Crowly didn't want to say it. He struggled against it, trying to stop the words escaping his mouth. But they kept coming. Tassssste it. Pepper was staring at the golden fruit, transfixed. An animal in the trap. The angel didn't want to speak. He didn't want to fall. The girl plucked the apple from the tree, starring. Jussssst one bite… She raised the apple to her mouth. Crowly struggled; trying to twist out of the scales that trapped him like a straight jacket. He shouted sssstop! Too late. Pepper had taken the bite. Crowly watched with horror as her expression changed: a cloud over the sunny features. He watched her blush and fashion clothing from the leaves of the tree. He watched her give the apple to Adam, the innocence fading. He screamed as the boy bit. Screamed as the lighting thundered across Eden. Screamed as the children of God kissed at sank to the ground, entwined. Screamed as he fell; cast out by the Angel and the Sword. The pain was unbearable. Rejection, loneliness, pain. He fell…-  
  
Crowly screamed himself awake and Azriphale returned to his doorway. The demon lay staring at the ceiling, his bare chest rising and falling with each rapid breath.  
  
"Zira?" he whispered.  
  
The angel wanted to rush forward and hold him as he would a child, but knew the demon would never forgive him.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I didn't want to fall. I just hung out with the wrong bunch of angels."  
  
"I know." The angel replied. Of course he knew. He had been one of them.  
  
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Why did I write that? Why? I think this story is going to tell itself rather than let me tell it. Its getting out of controll!!!! Quick! Review before it takes over!!! 


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